I started running right after Zoie was born. As a mom, it was something I enjoyed. I could pop her in the stroller, get fresh air and a workout while still being with her, but doing something for myself. At that time I was only running 2-3 miles. But, Zoie has always known running, and what it feels like from her side of the fence (being in a stroller with fresh air on her face.) After I had Ivie, I had gained close to 40 lbs with a preemie and needed to get my weight off somehow. So I picked up my running. I set goals, I got a new, 2 new 😜 Double joggers, and I started slow. Pushing an extra 150 lbs isn't easy, but it kicks your butt into gear. One of my goals was to run a half sometime in my life since all I knew was 5K's. So I trained with my girls by my side for 3 months and completed my first half in May 2015. It was easier than I had thought, for being my fist one, but I didn't realize what it physically would make me feel like afterwards. This is when I remembered something. Zoie's docs once told us that her having one seizure, is like running a marathon. This feeling I was feeling after last years race was what my daughter felt frequently with no recognition of what went on or why she felt that way. That's when my eyes started to open up and realize, that yes, I knew I had been running to loose my weight, but there was SO much more to it.
Zoie doesn't walk, she may one day, she may not. The only way she gets to experience running is through me. This was another piece of my motivation. Here I was, or am, a healthy young mom, who has the physical ability to do so much, and my daughter doesn't. Before Zoie, I took advantage of it, I was blind to it. I was blind to the fact of how much your life will change with a disease, or a genetic condition, or cancer, or whatever it is, it can change your life, forever. After that first half marathon something inside me changed, or maybe it was before that, but at one point I realized I had been running for so many reasons besides myself. So, I set another goal. To run another half before a baby number 3, and this time to do it not for nyself at all, but completely for others.
I'm exhausted, my knees are hurting, I can't walk up my stairs, but this feeling I have, is nothing compared to what others feel on a daily basis. That's what I have to tell myself while I'm running a half. Today we (my running partner and I) ran for 20 individuals. I want to share a little bit about some of them, in hopes it will make you understand that none of us should take stuff for granted, and what you probably complain about often, is nothing compared to what these people could complain about, but God-willing they don't; they smile instead and keep on keeping on.
When the bus takes you up the poudre, and you see it's snowing, and it's cold, it's not ideal half marathon running weather. The first mile always seems like it takes a while at least for me. The snow wasn't stuck to the road, but some was on the grass/weeds. I ran my first mile for Vicki Moehling. She fought a good fight with ALS, but I know it was hard. I watched as an outsider, and I didn't know Vicki very well, but my husband did, and he loved her. Zoie got the chance to meet her, and I feel like somehow they had a secret connection with their love language and neither one of them being able to speak. I have a feeling that Vicki watches out for Z, so I wanted to run mile 1 for her. Mile 2 was for a sweet gal who lost her battle with Cystic Fibrosis. I never met Mandy, but I know her mom. Being the mom and connecting with a mom of a girl with CF, it's something that you don't even have to talk about. You get it, you get the struggles, you have both seen them. It was a pretty cool thing to run for Mandy who I have never met, but feel like I know. As the snow fell, and it was beautiful even though it was cold, I felt like that was Vicki and Mandy telling me they were present and running right there with me. I truly thank these 2 families for letting me run the first 2 miles for 2 exceptionally loved, and honorable women. I ran for a family member with Parkinson's, I ran for a little boy who is going on day 43 in the NICU at Childrens, I ran for Jema who is Zoie's age and has CF (her whole mile was a hill and she helped me up it). I ran for kiddos with Microcephaly like Zoie, or new babies who just started having seizures. I ran for little girls in other states that I have never met, but feel like I know. I ran for sisters who have heart conditions and were born preemie, for kids who are getting their wishes fulfilled through make a wish, for a little boy who had a stroke..... We also ran for sweet Jilli, who was sent to Heaven way too soon. She was Zoie's age and I cannot imagine that happening. Sweet Jilli, that snow falling was you giving us kisses on our noses. Thanks to her mama, for letting us run for her. I ran hard, and as fast as I could, but the last 3 miles are always the hardest for me. Zoie and someone who has been like a dad to me for years, got me through my last few miles. I have seen them both go through the ringer to be light about it, and that's all I had to think about to finish. I'm tearing up writing this, but, before I was introduced to the bad that's in the world, but the good that comes out of it, I was selfish, naive, and I could have cared less about what so many individuals struggle with or go through on a daily basis. Being Zoie's mom, having Ivie in the NICU, watching as the special needs community I'm a part of loosing their kids day after day, it's changed me, it's changed my heart, and I'm forever greatful for these imperfect but so perfectly made individuals who have came into my life! Here's to toning it down a bit and sticking with some 5k's for a while 😉❤️💜. Goodnight everyone.
I remember when you were born, 4 very short years ago. School wasn't even in your dad and I's minds. It's almost as if we forgot that when you have a child, part of them growing up is sending them off to school. You would think this would have crossed my mind being an Elementary Ed Grad, but we were so caught up in the now, and making sure we took our lives day by day, that no, school never came up. We decided to keep you home for your first year of preschool, due to your Cystic Fibrosis and learning delays. We wanted to strengthen your immune system an extra year, keep working on home therapies to help your brain development, speech, and muscle movement. You also had a very special friend at home to learn and grow with you; your baby sister Ivie. The last year you two have taught each other so much, she has pushed you, and you have pushed her. I'm so thankful we kept you home for that extra year! We have found a great preschool for you! It's called the Monroe Ear
My heart is full♡♡♡ Thank you for your kind words about Mandy. There's no doubt she was there cheering you on! You're amazing♡
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