My name is Lindsey. I'm a wife. I'm a special needs mom. I'm a regular mom. I'm a friend, a daughter, a sister, and a believer in God and miracles. Bedore you question why I'm writing this, let's just say that writing helps me, it's like a form of counseling, plus, both my girls are tucked into their beds sound asleep and I felt the need to share what happened today. Going back to being a believer, I used to be SO good at closing my eyes every night and thanking God for giving me another day with both of my daughters and my husband. I started this prayer (it's a simple one) when Zoie went a few nights a year or so ago, with seizures that lasted all night long, and I had to sit up and watch her, just to make sure she was still breathing. It made me thankful, for the simplest things in life. As time went on, and "bad" stuff doesn't happen, you forget to be thankful for the simple in life, the things that truly matter.
Today was a normal day. Zoie went to school and had a great day! Ivie and I packed, we had coffee, for lunch and got ready for naps. Then, I almost lost my little Zoie. Ivie was napping which is such a God-send, because if I'm traumatized, I cannot imagine how she would be. Zoie went into a seizure, threw up during it, choked, and stopped breathing, for a while. This has happened many times, I just don't share the nitty gritty of "us" because let's be real, it's our business. But I felt the need to share what happened today, in hopes it would teach someone, something. I called 911, had to give Zoie 5 breaths, where I heard the fluid that was stuck in her gargle.... I then had to watch paramedics stick a tube down her throat, to help her breath, and to suction her. She came out of her seizure, as if nothing had happened. That's why I love my girl. She's what you call a miracle defying death. But, I also know that won't last forever. I did good helping Zoie today, and my mind was calm as it was happening, but afterwards, it got me, it got me good. I feel like I'm traumatized, but I hope time will heal that. Zoie is alive, and she's home, and she's fine from what we can see, but that isn't always the case, and I really thought I was loosing my Zoie today, my sidekick, my best friend. It will take me a while to get these thoughts/images/tears out of my head, and nope, I definitely lost my "strong" after this happened. But, I followed my instincts today, when I could have just sat there, and because of that, Zoie is okay. Hug your babies, your kids, your husband or wives, and your parents. Life is fragile and no one is promised tomorrow <3
I remember when you were born, 4 very short years ago. School wasn't even in your dad and I's minds. It's almost as if we forgot that when you have a child, part of them growing up is sending them off to school. You would think this would have crossed my mind being an Elementary Ed Grad, but we were so caught up in the now, and making sure we took our lives day by day, that no, school never came up. We decided to keep you home for your first year of preschool, due to your Cystic Fibrosis and learning delays. We wanted to strengthen your immune system an extra year, keep working on home therapies to help your brain development, speech, and muscle movement. You also had a very special friend at home to learn and grow with you; your baby sister Ivie. The last year you two have taught each other so much, she has pushed you, and you have pushed her. I'm so thankful we kept you home for that extra year! We have found a great preschool for you! It's called the Monroe Ear
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