Romans 8:28-And we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.
For the last few months, I have memorized this verse, read about it, prayed about it, and counted on it. Depending on what you have going on in your life, you probably interpret this verse differently than I do, but I think we can all apply it to our lives at some point.
Derik and I met with several doctors back in February down at University Hospital in their in vitro clinic. We knew we wanted another baby or two, but after lots of genetic testing, we also knew that we were both carriers of the Cystic Fibrosis gene, and the Microcephaly gene. With that in mind, we had a 25% chance of having a baby that could end up with either of these genetic disorders. We had our mind made up, we would do in vitro, with our sperm and egg, but make sure the ones that got implanted had neither genetic disorder. Our mind was made up until they told us it would be 26,000 dollars, and that was only if I got pregnant in the first three months. It only went up from there.
We had a lot to think about, and a lot to pray about. If we took out a loan, we wouldn't be able to move if we needed to if Zoie ends up in a wheel chair and we needed to accommodate a special home for her. She was more important. We wouldn't do in vitro.
We had several other options, but we didn't feel content with them. We had more praying to do.
At some point, we made up our mind. We would put our full faith and trust in God, the only one who knows what the outcome would be, and we would try on our own with the help of doctors.
After picking the top genetic lab in the US based out of Chicago, we sent them blood from Zoie, Derik, and I and they put together panels that would be used to test for specific genetic disorders. In our case, Cystic Fibrosis, the exact genetic make-up of Zoie's, and also the Microcephaly, the exact genetic make-up of Zoie's as well. It's pretty remarkable what science can do! After making sure we had all of our ducks in a row, it was time to start trying for a little miracle baby.
After getting pregnant in April, I miscarried at 6.5 weeks after a fun NE trip with my bestie. We were sad, and there were tears, but we also knew the baby must have not been the right one for us so God took her/him to heaven early. We were at peace with this. God knew what He was doing. We waited for a few months to let my body heal, and got the okay to try again. In August when a pregnancy test said positive I rushed downstairs and told Derik I had a surprise for him. He closed his eyes and I put the test in his lap. He was shocked it happened so fast, or at least that's what his reaction was ;)
We made our calls to my OBGYN here in town, and our OBGYN and genetic counselor down at University hospital. Time to start the process to see if this little baby was going to be healthy or not!
We wanted to share our good news, but also knew I was only two-three weeks along and we had a long ways to go until we would do our CVS testing or an amnio test.
The first step was to get an exact due date. This is important because the CVS test needs to be done between weeks 10.5-12. If it's done too early, it has to be redone. If it's done too late, the whole process gets messed up and results may not be as accurate. My original due date was April 30th and after four ultrasounds, one a week, we were set on May 11th. Now we could schedule our CVS test and at least have a date to look forward to.
What a CVS does is pulls fluid (tiny bit) from around the baby. It contains the same cells that make up the baby. After the CVS, the cells sit in a peatree dish for a few weeks and expand. Once they are multiplied enough, they can be sent to Chicago for testing. One test is done a week. First the chromosomal test and gender reveal, second the Cystic Fibrosis test, and third the microcephaly.
The first call came in that there were no chromosomal abnormalities and we were having a little girl. About two weeks later a call came about the Cystic Fibrosis. It was a Friday and I wasn't expecting it. Derik had passed off his CF gene, but I hadn't. She had no CF, but would be a carrier. When I hung up the phone I got on my knees almost like I was bowing, and cried. I was so thankful, because we were expecting her to have CF. I was in awe that she was healthy thus far. That was a miracle. A feeling I have never felt of relief and joy and excitement and thanks to God. She also told me that day that by the following Wednesday we would know the details of Microcephaly. From Friday through Wednesday, those were probably some of the hardest days of my life. It sounds silly, but the fate of what our life would be like was within that phone call that we would receive.
Derik was home Wednesday morning, and the phone rang. It was our sweet genetic counselor delivering the news. She said, "I have more good news for you." I didn't say anything, I just started crying. Eventually I think I asked, "are you sure it's right? We have a completely healthy baby?" I was shaking, I was relieved, I was in awe, I was thankful. We had two genetic disorders we were dealing with and she got neither of them. I passed on the Micro gene, but Derik didn't. This is where it truly is a miracle. See, if we both would have passed on our CF or Micro gene, she wouldn't be completely healthy. But, Derik passed one on, and I passed on the other. How does that happen? I am still asking myself!
Through the 14 weeks of hiding this pregnancy and trying to not be so excited about it, because we really didn't know the outcome, I can say with everything I have, we leaned fully on God. Our parents knew, our siblings knew, and a few close friends. We had prayer warriors, but not even all of them knew all these details.
I am sharing this because it was stressful, it was one of the hardest things we have ever had to do, it was tiresome, but we also learned how to pray on a whole new level and we really learned what it means to take a chance, take a leap of faith and trust that God won't give you anymore than you can handle. Obviously, He was with us, and didn't think we could have another precious kiddo who has CF, or micro. I thank Him for this. It would have been very hard. More than hard.
I cried a lot the last 14 weeks, some happy tears, some stressful tears, and some fearful tears.
Now we are feeling so joyful, so blessed, so thankful. God willing, we will have a healthy baby girl who will be a blessing to us and to Zoie. Zoie will be the best little, big sister, and we are so excited.
The other reason I felt it on my heart to share this is because I really hope someone comes across this in a similar situation. Someone who needs some information, who needs a shoulder to lean on, who needs prayers, or support. For most women, you can just get pregnant. Then for some of us, we have other circumstances and it's a bit harder. It's not impossible though, and if you can get through the tough part, it's all worth it. It is/was for us.
I am blessed by the best thing that ever happened to me, my little Zoie, and now I will be equally as blessed by Ivie :) Zoie has taught me so much and made me very strong, sometimes too strong, and I also feel like Ivie has already done the same. Those 14 weeks I was forced to be strong, for me and my family, and it payed off.
Thanks for letting me share this little part of our life. I really hope it helps someone.
For the last few months, I have memorized this verse, read about it, prayed about it, and counted on it. Depending on what you have going on in your life, you probably interpret this verse differently than I do, but I think we can all apply it to our lives at some point.
Derik and I met with several doctors back in February down at University Hospital in their in vitro clinic. We knew we wanted another baby or two, but after lots of genetic testing, we also knew that we were both carriers of the Cystic Fibrosis gene, and the Microcephaly gene. With that in mind, we had a 25% chance of having a baby that could end up with either of these genetic disorders. We had our mind made up, we would do in vitro, with our sperm and egg, but make sure the ones that got implanted had neither genetic disorder. Our mind was made up until they told us it would be 26,000 dollars, and that was only if I got pregnant in the first three months. It only went up from there.
We had a lot to think about, and a lot to pray about. If we took out a loan, we wouldn't be able to move if we needed to if Zoie ends up in a wheel chair and we needed to accommodate a special home for her. She was more important. We wouldn't do in vitro.
We had several other options, but we didn't feel content with them. We had more praying to do.
At some point, we made up our mind. We would put our full faith and trust in God, the only one who knows what the outcome would be, and we would try on our own with the help of doctors.
After picking the top genetic lab in the US based out of Chicago, we sent them blood from Zoie, Derik, and I and they put together panels that would be used to test for specific genetic disorders. In our case, Cystic Fibrosis, the exact genetic make-up of Zoie's, and also the Microcephaly, the exact genetic make-up of Zoie's as well. It's pretty remarkable what science can do! After making sure we had all of our ducks in a row, it was time to start trying for a little miracle baby.
After getting pregnant in April, I miscarried at 6.5 weeks after a fun NE trip with my bestie. We were sad, and there were tears, but we also knew the baby must have not been the right one for us so God took her/him to heaven early. We were at peace with this. God knew what He was doing. We waited for a few months to let my body heal, and got the okay to try again. In August when a pregnancy test said positive I rushed downstairs and told Derik I had a surprise for him. He closed his eyes and I put the test in his lap. He was shocked it happened so fast, or at least that's what his reaction was ;)
We made our calls to my OBGYN here in town, and our OBGYN and genetic counselor down at University hospital. Time to start the process to see if this little baby was going to be healthy or not!
We wanted to share our good news, but also knew I was only two-three weeks along and we had a long ways to go until we would do our CVS testing or an amnio test.
The first step was to get an exact due date. This is important because the CVS test needs to be done between weeks 10.5-12. If it's done too early, it has to be redone. If it's done too late, the whole process gets messed up and results may not be as accurate. My original due date was April 30th and after four ultrasounds, one a week, we were set on May 11th. Now we could schedule our CVS test and at least have a date to look forward to.
What a CVS does is pulls fluid (tiny bit) from around the baby. It contains the same cells that make up the baby. After the CVS, the cells sit in a peatree dish for a few weeks and expand. Once they are multiplied enough, they can be sent to Chicago for testing. One test is done a week. First the chromosomal test and gender reveal, second the Cystic Fibrosis test, and third the microcephaly.
The first call came in that there were no chromosomal abnormalities and we were having a little girl. About two weeks later a call came about the Cystic Fibrosis. It was a Friday and I wasn't expecting it. Derik had passed off his CF gene, but I hadn't. She had no CF, but would be a carrier. When I hung up the phone I got on my knees almost like I was bowing, and cried. I was so thankful, because we were expecting her to have CF. I was in awe that she was healthy thus far. That was a miracle. A feeling I have never felt of relief and joy and excitement and thanks to God. She also told me that day that by the following Wednesday we would know the details of Microcephaly. From Friday through Wednesday, those were probably some of the hardest days of my life. It sounds silly, but the fate of what our life would be like was within that phone call that we would receive.
Derik was home Wednesday morning, and the phone rang. It was our sweet genetic counselor delivering the news. She said, "I have more good news for you." I didn't say anything, I just started crying. Eventually I think I asked, "are you sure it's right? We have a completely healthy baby?" I was shaking, I was relieved, I was in awe, I was thankful. We had two genetic disorders we were dealing with and she got neither of them. I passed on the Micro gene, but Derik didn't. This is where it truly is a miracle. See, if we both would have passed on our CF or Micro gene, she wouldn't be completely healthy. But, Derik passed one on, and I passed on the other. How does that happen? I am still asking myself!
Through the 14 weeks of hiding this pregnancy and trying to not be so excited about it, because we really didn't know the outcome, I can say with everything I have, we leaned fully on God. Our parents knew, our siblings knew, and a few close friends. We had prayer warriors, but not even all of them knew all these details.
I am sharing this because it was stressful, it was one of the hardest things we have ever had to do, it was tiresome, but we also learned how to pray on a whole new level and we really learned what it means to take a chance, take a leap of faith and trust that God won't give you anymore than you can handle. Obviously, He was with us, and didn't think we could have another precious kiddo who has CF, or micro. I thank Him for this. It would have been very hard. More than hard.
I cried a lot the last 14 weeks, some happy tears, some stressful tears, and some fearful tears.
Now we are feeling so joyful, so blessed, so thankful. God willing, we will have a healthy baby girl who will be a blessing to us and to Zoie. Zoie will be the best little, big sister, and we are so excited.
The other reason I felt it on my heart to share this is because I really hope someone comes across this in a similar situation. Someone who needs some information, who needs a shoulder to lean on, who needs prayers, or support. For most women, you can just get pregnant. Then for some of us, we have other circumstances and it's a bit harder. It's not impossible though, and if you can get through the tough part, it's all worth it. It is/was for us.
I am blessed by the best thing that ever happened to me, my little Zoie, and now I will be equally as blessed by Ivie :) Zoie has taught me so much and made me very strong, sometimes too strong, and I also feel like Ivie has already done the same. Those 14 weeks I was forced to be strong, for me and my family, and it payed off.
Thanks for letting me share this little part of our life. I really hope it helps someone.
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